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Sep. 6th, 2007 @ 07:31 pm Oh my God
Livejournal lives?
I don't think so....
it took me three days to remember my password...
ah to be a junior in highschool again.
or not.
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Mar. 31st, 2004 @ 10:48 am (no subject)
Fuck Off
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Mar. 16th, 2004 @ 10:58 am WoW
Current Mood: annoyed
Current Music: Avril Lavigne: a Tribute to Hell.
I have the dumbest friends.
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Dec. 4th, 2003 @ 02:58 pm Hope
Current Mood: sad
Current Music: Flint
Give.

I don't see anything very clearly right now. I"m confused, and just trying to sort everything out and make it all make sense. its foggy outside, foggy like my grey matter. more....hazy. yellow haze like my cold inflicted snot. I have something to hold on to though. something that gives me hope...something that's a bad parody of something of greater hope, but that greater is uncomprehensible. So I hold on to the lesser. yet, I feel it coming to an end. I feel it soon leaving just like all like it before have left. though I shouldn't think of it now because that's what will make me better. It will be gone, and I'll still be here, just like I said I would, and everything will still be a mess and I will still have to make it fit where it ought. and I'll have to do it alone. just like always. So maybe I can leave it for another while. Let it be. That's what I'm thinking...the thoughts, you know, that people write in secret books and jam in secret places so that no one would find them, but that still needed to be expressed somehow, but maybe we aren't all deep enough to write songs or poems that just trist the truth into some seemingly deep and wonderful form that no one would understand anyway. Just so you could get away with saying it out loud, but knowing that no one would understand what you're saying. It makes sense to me. I keep coming back to no one but me and the greater Hope. Though I'm still sad to lose the lesser. Maybe by losing the lesser I'll be ever closer to grasping the greater...we can always _ _ _ _. Yes, precious, We can.

Though Dying, we Live On.
We have Such Hope in Christ.

I refuse to even let my mind go there.
Easy to smile about but too easy to be let down.
My heart's been Broken
and the Pieces were scattered.
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Nov. 14th, 2003 @ 01:08 pm Ah HA!
_______'s a dick and it makes me sick because I love _______ but _______ will *never* have me.

now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll screw around with another blank.

"I wanna live in tv land...my problems they could solve before the end of the show."
About this Entry
Oct. 29th, 2003 @ 03:36 pm Let Me Tell of All the Love You Bring Me
is there nothing new underneath the sun?
some unfound way to tell of all You've done?
I spin around and round in circles
all that I find is one thing true.
I'm trying to
I'm trying to invent a new way with words
all that I find in my frustration
is that it does not change the way I feel:
Cause
there are no words I could say
there is no music I could play
there is no song I could sing
To tell of all the love you bring.
You're waiting for me to break the silence
You're listening even though you already know
That
There are no words.
There is nothing new underneath the sun?
and I'm lost for words anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I just hang on every words you say
you spend all day inside my mind
I'm overcome, How to explain?
What am I supposed to do?
I must have YOU.
BE all. End all.
Start Me. Finish Me.


*Oneness*

Even we now groan within ourselves.
About this Entry
Oct. 21st, 2003 @ 08:13 pm I FEEL USED**
Current Mood: uncomfortable
Current Music: PJ Harvey-Big Exit
very used.

I should have known better. I did. I just thought somehow it would change. He'll never change. He didn't anyway.
Stupid Johanna.
Stupid Hopeful Johanna.
Stupid Hopeful Johanna should know better than to Love anyone Ever.

I may Love but I can't give myself to anybody entirely for quite sometime. I may be invencible but I still want a pistol.




**Dislcaimer::This post was written in a rash frustration for which we will not appologize, though will attribute to momentary shallowness and normality.
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Oct. 17th, 2003 @ 01:42 pm Ephesians 3:14-21; 4:29
Current Mood: drained
Current Music: Tree63-No Words
You know what's funny to think about? Everything after time.
Stupid stupid stupid. I passed then end a long time ago? Yea.

I miss ______.

Well I found my past
I set it up in flames
I threw away my keys
I got my name changed
Don't you remember me
Always on the run
I got the sun shine on
And I'm growing fast
You will never see me crawl again
ALL hands UP
(come on and make your mind up)
"I'd give everything I have for something I don't have to prove"

Jesus: you are The One and Only Forever

I cannot cross this great divide
Without You're love, surprise surprise

All My Love
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Sep. 30th, 2003 @ 09:49 am Yea?
Well Fuck It.
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Sep. 27th, 2003 @ 03:51 pm Johanna Marie Guthrie....
Current Mood: listless
Current Music: Carly Simon-You're So Vain
....Go to your room and don't come out till you straighten up!

this I will do.


Goodbye.
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Sep. 23rd, 2003 @ 09:40 am No Thank You.
Current Music: Flint
yea I don't fit here. its not right. it doesn't work. its not something.
It went Poof and disapeared. No Mist no nothing. how weird is that?
so weird.
so dumb.
maybe latin will be fun.
I hate this.

Mood: once someone came to me and said "talk to me, I am in need of deep conversation." its kinda like that.
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Sep. 19th, 2003 @ 05:25 pm Yay.
Current Mood: artistic
Current Music: Bastian
I'm so Happy. Its all good for once. nah, its good a lot. I'm just a bitch, that's all. ha.
ha.
no. its wonderful outside, I have silence, aloneness, I can do latin, I like latin, Latin is wonderful, Cicero is one of those cool old weird guys...go cicero.
I"m going to see a movie, and I"m happy.
Beautiful everywhere I look, but shallow from the flesh. hmmmm.
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Aug. 16th, 2003 @ 06:44 pm Burry Your Sword, Daddy's Already Got This One.
I want to say something....

"You are so selfish, and so self centered, and so cruel, and so annoying, and unfair, and underhanded, and sneaky, and just plain unkind. You don't love people, you take hostages. You don't mean what you say, you say whatever you think is dramatic and overpronounced at the time. You're volitile, and emotional, and shallow like a puddle. I loved you so much but you, you're just a user. simple meanness. it makes me so sad. I am so sad. I would never admit I was hurt....but I'd definitely admit I was sad. and then, and then...I want ....but....then....I know....its all because....You hurt first..... ...............I still mean everything I don't say..........."

everyone I've ever known.


I wish I could be selfish. I wish I didn't know any better. I wish I could not be a child but still be childish. but wait....

take a walk.

go outside.

and say....

"if only the Love that rules the heavens....
.............Ruled My Life."
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Jul. 11th, 2003 @ 12:13 pm damn
why is everyone dicking me around?
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Jul. 6th, 2003 @ 11:21 am OTIRHAN
why am I always the one left alone?

why don't I ever fit anywhere.

Why am I tigger?
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Jun. 14th, 2003 @ 10:25 am HA!
lorelai
you're lorelai. you're sarcastic and witty, and
everyone loves you. some are even *in* love
with you, but you're too distracted to notice.
sometimes you can be a little selfish, but
overall you're a great friend and caring mom.
just go out with luke already.


which gilmore girls character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
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May. 17th, 2003 @ 06:02 pm I.Am.Angry
they care at all the wrong times in all the wrong ways. just leave me alone and stop bothering me. don't tell me how to feel. don't tell me how to act. don't tell me what to say or do or think. I'm sick of situations being made complicated by rightless idiots and then being blamed.
AROTLGHA
go away.
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Apr. 9th, 2003 @ 01:05 pm I feel myself evaporating.
Am I real? I lik ethe quiet. I like no one knowing. How special is that. Goodnight moon. Let the essence monsters die.
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